There comes a point in an adolescent’s life when they feel they know what’s best for themselves. Whether they’re right or wrong, they must be free to experience things on their own. This can be said for all adolescents, irrespective of emotional and intellectual maturity. Often times, parents tend to not want to let go of their teenage children in fear of the harsh realities of the adult world. While these fears are valid because of the strong paternal/maternal instinct found in almost every species, it is crucial to adolescent development to be allowed to experience independence. The longer it takes for parents to realize that, the harder it will be on their children.

In chapter ten of Siddhartha, Siddhartha experiences the ups and downs of parenthood when he finds out he has a son whose mother died, so he takes him in. During the short time his son is with him, Siddhartha’s son grows more and more resistant and dismissive of his father’s love. This is understandable as he had just met his dad not long after his mother died. Time goes by and he is still unhappy with his father and his surroundings; he is not used to village life since he spent his entire childhood being more or less spoiled by his mother Kamala. Siddhartha feels helpless in his aim to protect his child and is reminded by Vasudeva that some things need to be experienced, not taught.

“But do we, you and me, know what he is called upon to do, what path to take, what actions to perform, what pain to endure?”

This quote from Vasudeva really stuck with me. Although I am not a parent, I feel that this applies to everything in life. We may have control over our own decisions, but the outcome of those decisions are simply not up to us.

When Siddhartha’s son eventually fled, Siddhartha was able to find peace in the advice of Vasudeva. Siddartha’s son was his own person and and ultimately was not up to Siddhartha to decide what his son will make of his life. It is best for parents to accept early on that micromanaging their teens’ every step is harmful in the long run. Like Siddhartha’s son left the village, every bird must eventually leave its nest