As a teenager you are expected of two things. One is a social life, and the other is figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life. Most people I know don’t talk about how they struggle with their daily lives, but because of quarantine, I can visibly see everyone drift apart and succumb to their own shadows. It never really struck me to interact with my peers, but I think now more than ever is the best time to do so. It may be hard for everyone, especially because they have their own lives and obstacles to go through, but it’s worth an effort. I never really had that many close friends in school because for me, everyday was a haze and I was just there to get good grades and then leave. That was my daily routine, and I didn’t see a need to make any close friends. For so long I’d just go along through my day and barely make it out of school with enough energy to finish my remaining homework, but now that everything has changed, I’ve allowed myself to fall into a deeper haze that makes my days move like molasses. There isn’t any motivation anymore. There isn’t any reason to get dressed and do anything. Now that I see how much friends helped me, I understand how self isolation can affect someone. I want to help those that I care about and I know it’s going to be tough, but it’s worth a try.

During these six months, I’ve allowed myself to pick up new hobbies like digital art and much more, even though school takes up most of my time. These hobbies have really allowed me to grasp onto something and motivate me again. Even though all of these things I do distract me from my daily life, I can’t stop thinking about the people I used to be around daily. I could wonder constantly but nothing would be done about it. I think one thing that I really noticed during online schooling is that kids with social anxiety cannot be on camera, even though their teachers demand it everyday. I can relate a little, but it has it’s limits. Online schooling has its perks, but it can be really challenging for someone who moves constantly. Textbooks are heavy, computers may not work, there might not be a printer, constant demands, and overall difficulty keeping track of where things are. Every time my teacher talks about something I should have, I scramble to find it, but it’s not because I am messy.