warning #1

As your mom watches you grow inches past the top of her head, she’ll seldom kiss you before you go to bed. As your dad arrives home from supposed work, only then will that aching feeling lurk. Those moments are when the ground begins to shift and you’re no longer climbing trees or building pillow forts. Suddenly it’s seesawing between running out the back door or not being able to leave your room for days. I miss how carefree you were.

warning #2

When your favorite color seems to be duller and an empty stomach gets your ego fuller, you’ll be weaker than you’ve ever felt. Soon this will be a reoccurring pattern needing to be dealt. Don’t worry about boys, the only relationship problem you seem to be on and off with is food. I wish I still preserved your youthful twenty-twenty vision. The glasses I’m prescribed with now are too defined it pierces through my eyes. I miss how you saw the world. 

warning #3

There will be times you lay in bed when salty tears and chapped lips are all you can taste, shaken from the nightmares you get when those gripped hands are pinned at your waist. The screams of “no” ricochets the sound proof walls. Maybe it was your fault after all. Hold your sheets tight and wear your clothes loose, the part of game is the hunt and no one likes an easy target. After all, you were asking for it. I miss how untainted your were.

reminder #1

When your shoulder seems to weigh heavier than before and waking up to get ready feels like a chore, I’ll say this as a gentle reminder so the days will treat you kinder. Healing isn’t linear, there will be a few moments where the soles of your feet can catch rest before you get swept off from the rug. But you’re so much more than rug burns and bruises. I’ve seen the say you stood up by yourself with your head held high. I adore your perseverance. 

reminder #2

As the dimness of nightfall is the one thing you know lasts, you’ll gaze at the stars while you wait for the moon to pass. The skill of patience you serve to the table is plentiful for a village to feast. One day, you’ll be able to fight strong and slay the beast. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, rewarding you for the diligent journey on improving yourself. For all it’s worth, you’ll finally fill your belly with meals of your choice. I adore your vigor. 

reminder #3

Down the line, you’ll grow into a heart with enough space to love you as much as you have room for loving others. After all these years, your self worth wouldn’t need to be validated in the hands of another. The reflection in the mirror will no longer be your foe, you’ll smile so wide at the camera your amber eyes will develop a glow. Not only on the surface will you accept yourself, but you’ll realize it’s the least important feature about you. I adore all of your beauty. 

– Love, your future self.