Dear 2023 Me,

It’s been 458 days since March 13th, 2020. By the time, I am writing this, this is my second to last zoom in my English class as a sophomore. Though it felt like just yesterday I was a naive freshman acting like nervous wreck wandering the language halls, in 4 short days, I will technically be a junior. I am afraid at how fast time is passing by me and I am worried for what the future holds. On the other hand, I am beyond grateful that my physical health as well as my family was not damaged during this long period of quarantine. However, my mental health is a completely different story. Everyone approximately my age has let loose of their social capabilities as it no longer became a necessity everyday. We see the same people, walk around the same corner, and wear the same dirty pair of pajamas almost everyday. It became depleting and at certain points, it became difficult to persevere through everyday life.

The worst part of it all was I had it easy; my family were financially stable and we were fortunate enough to be healthy through this overwhelming period. If you only looked up at the news for a couple minutes, it was so clear how so many people were struggling with losing their jobs or their loved ones and how the number of those infected would exponentially increase. So in hindsight, I should not be disappointed about how my year was abruptly ended because in this case, it is rather a miniscule problem in comparison to millions of others. I could only hope now that as we are entering a period of calamity with the vaccines being distributed that in September, there will be some normalcy.

Now, I want to remember this year for how emotionally draining it was as well as for all the times I was put in a situation where I had to adapt. To think about it, this entire year was based on adapting to the new schooling system and how to make it out of it alive. I would like to think that we all personally challenge ourselves to be the best, to maintain 4.0+ GPA or to excel in everything we are passionate about. I was forced to endure one of the worst learning experiences of my life; yes, I was able to learn, but at my own will due to my teacher’s lack of compromise and support. I tried to hard to absolve my anger towards this conflict because I understand that all people, adults and students alike, were experiencing a once in a lifetime world problem. The leniency I allowed slowly drove me insane as I would sleep at midnight and wake up at 6 A.M. to prepare for tests and quizzes. Future me, I would really like you to recall as you’re graduating that you previously had dreams of this teacher, not once but twice, of how they accused of something you never did.

On the other hand, some fun moments revolved around social media. Though I think it is slowly corrupting our happiness, I deny that TikTok has been anchor of joy in my life. It somewhat became quite addicting, but I found myself using this app as a distraction to everything else that was occurring. I overly used Netflix as I watched nearly 20 shows in the last year with multiple seasons (yes it got really bad). Long story short, there were many aspects of my life crumbling around me and I think the foundation that kept me sane through this process was distractions from the media.

I am really hoping this website will still be here in a couple years as I look back at all the ups and downs of my sophomore year. In the future, I am expecting restless nights, heartbreak, sadness, but also a plethora of memories with my family and friends. I do not expect my life to be full of happiness and resemble anything near perfect, but I am proud of everything I accomplished this year even though it was mentally draining.

I hope:

• I do not disintegrate under stress and pressure
• I will not disappoint anyone in CSF or AHA now with a defined role
• my sleep schedule is replenished
• I spend my summer wisely
• my family can evolve into a healthier environment
• I do not fail my permit test and/or crash
• I excel in my classes next year and senior year
• I am still attempting to be the best version of myself
• I keep in touch with everyone I got close with this year
• my brother gets into college (but lives close or at home)
• I get a Banzai Bowl in the next two weeks
• Finally, I hope I get an A in chemistry

Well, I hope school is not a living hell for you these next two years. Stay out of trouble and be focused on your goals. Still, I hope you tried to spend some time to have actual fun (being a party pooper sucks!)

Sincerely,

2021 Me :,)