Picture you’re a student in America, a day after finishing hours of doing schoolwork. As you get to your comfort spot at home, you plop back and give out a big sigh, as we all know learning is mentally taxing. You think of the homework there is to complete, equal or usually even of greater quantities of work that was done in class. And then you think, “When will I ever need to know how the steam engine worked?” The answer to that is almost always never, but that little part of your brain says “Hey, if you don’t do it you get marked down. You don’t want to get marked down, do you?” Of course not. So proceeds hours of continuous dedication to all 6+ periods of classwork for that grade. You get an email notification that an assignment has been graded. Before you open it, you brace yourself, as this number could determine your mood, ability to function, and viewpoint of your own capabilities for a while. You close your eyes, thinking of a fantasy where you are happy to keep you going, saying if you try you will get there. Your opened pupils are met with reality and you check the grade. And so is the weekly cycle of a student.

But why?

I’m sure you could answer this with ease. After all, we have all been told this from adults and any mentors, your grades determine your life. If you get good grades, you can apply to good colleges. If you get into a good college, you have something good to put on your future resume. Even better, if you do well in said university, it further proves you are capable and ready for a job. Then you apply for a stable job with a good salary to work for years and years to come until retirement. And sure, that is what is said, but WHY? Why do you specifically want that good grade? I want you to really think, had we not been told school was this important, if college was not as essential as it seems, how many people would really have that as their primary objective?

When we were kids, little kids with no knowledge of responsibility, we had dreams. Whether it was to be an astronaut, a superhero, a mythical creature, or even someone else, they all had something in common: we genuinely liked it. The heart of that little boy or girl was so mesmerized by this fantasy that it overloaded the soul with joy and excitement for the possibilities of the future. It was those exact type of thoughts, while subject to change, but those visions that fill us with fervor and eagerness to explore that define who we are and what we truly desire in life. Unfortunately, as adulthood progresses, goals rarely coincide with these passionate thoughts.

When I think of my interests of superheroes or for that matter, any fantastical themed story, my love for sketching supernatural weapons or spaceships, my devotion to mathematics, my internal voice telling me I have to help people if I can combined with the emptiness of my heart yearning for a deeper human connection with a greater amount of people in order to fill that void with the acceptance of others, the first thought that comes to mind is that there is no job that can fulfill those feelings for me. That should not be my first thought. Why am I looking at a single place to accomplish all of my internal needs? Quite frankly, that is extremely unreasonable, and under any different circumstance I would realize that a place has a single purpose that it was made for, and that is all one should expect of it. So what about it makes this different?

The modern world has romanticized the idea of a workplace, a dream job. One of the earliest questions you are asked, and one continues to be asked to this day is “What is your dream job?” In other words, what are you willing to do for the rest of the hours of your life on, willing to stress over daily, willing to put so much time to get there against so many others who are extremely competitive, how much are you willing to give in order to spend the last quarter of your life hopelessly devoted to? When put that way it’s not that great of a question, for a variety of reasons too. American culture has been so pinpointed on the occupation that it has made it become the most important aspect of life, but that is hardly the case. People, with the belief that this is their focus, what will be the biggest, most vital, most prominent part of their life will indeed look for a “dream job,” a place that can hopefully fulfill all their desires considering the amount of time invested into it. Second, this question isn’t exactly true. Yes, it would help tremendously if the job you took is enjoyable, but as said before it has a single purpose. In this case, the occupation is intended to provide you with the means to live a stable life, but in no way hinders your ability to explore other hobbies that can feed your other needs. There is no “dream job,” there is just a stable income that is the shot. Unlike TV shows, you won’t make always make lifelong friends or find the love of your life, and fill your days with drama that is suitable for the plot for an 8/7 central time ABC show. And that’s okay. It’s just work.

A good friend of mine is one of the most capable women I have ever met, and I have no doubt she will go far in this life, one structured by your monetary success and ability to conquer your peers to stand on top. That I don’t question. In fact, many people share her goal of becoming successful in this economy and they look at her as a sort of goddess, an idol, she is everything they want to be and more. And yet, she is one of the unhappiest people I’ve ever known, which seems strangely ironic since she is essentially the closest any of us are to the goals of success. What I think is the problem is she is a follower. Funny, because she is the least likely to seem to listen and succumb to another’s say, but it’s true. She is a follower of the American Dream and what she’s been told will bring her happiness. As wonderful it seems, it is untrue. The path to genuine happiness is one that you find on your own because you are different. There is no path that will ever fill your individual desires, the ones you tried to silence with realistic goals of getting into a good university, and the ones that rest in your soul regardless of your efforts. When you follow someone else with the intentions of happiness, you are only left with a goal in a path that remains never-ending as it will never have the capacity to do bring you true joy.

The saddest part of this, I think, is what it does to the mind, what it does to one’s priorities. Someone who lives a goal based life in the path of another will never reach it. And for some reason, most likely due to the propaganda of the past emphasizing how much your job will mean, they delve even further into the depths of their work, filled with disappointment and consistent stress, thinking they simply did not put enough effort beforehand. They slowly reduce themselves to be defined by that goal, to the point where they are the shell of a human being, with all their emotions, thoughts, and actions being centered around a single thing. That realization often comes far too late.

When someone takes a step back to finally see what they’re missing, they have gone too far down the road of being a follower that they now have little time and only one thing going for them. Tragic, for sure. What is there left for them to do but continue down that path they have dedicated so much to? And yet, with this newfound knowledge of the minimal capacities a job can provide for a person, it simply is no longer the same.

Simply put, a life of work that you believe will bring you happiness and satisfaction, one that you put your faith in from the experience of others will often take you nowhere and leave you with little in regard of fulfillment.

If I were to summarize this, and leave you with a few lessons I learned, first I would like to lead off with the ever so important fact that a job IS INDEED important. I know I have harked on their abilities, but the simple truth is that a good life means you need money. That is how the world functions, how our environment has been determined, and a very, very, very vital tool that you will need to explore your passions. The emphasis is that your job is not synonymous with your life.

I urge you to think for yourself, to follow your own thoughts and do as you feel is right and that is something you actually want to do. Listen to the pure thoughts of childish passion in your hearts, logically of course, but that is your soul speaking to you. That is what you actually desire, and it doesn’t really make sense to ignore it. Be a doer, not a follower, especially when it comes to your individual happiness, something only you can achieve.

And most importantly, when you think, live an experience based life, not a goal based life. Goals are great, but those based on posthumous fame or material possession will do little to satisfaction while you lay on your deathbed. Make friends, spread love, do what you need to be happy NOW. In the end, that’s what you remember, that is what stays with you, and that is what truly matters. We only have a limited amount of time, and when we die, that’s it. It sounds graphic, but simply said make sure you die fulfilled.

So again, imagine you are a student, your life surrounded by the education lifestyle, with it being excruciatingly important to your future. Are you doing well enough that you can find a good job in the future. Hopefully the answer is yes. If it isn’t that means you need to put in more work. But if you’re doing well enough, question, are you happy? What can you do, what can you explore that will make you happier? Follow that. Live for experience.