I find that when I have so much work to do and so much I want to do, I end up doing nothing. I feel like if I start a project, I won’t have time to do my homework. But if I do my homework, I won’t have time to do the project. And then I have the audacity to wonder where all my time went.

We all want to blame our weaknesses on something. So, what can I blame my procrastination on?

“I’m just so busy, I don’t have time.”

Me, Everyday

My famous line to excuse my laziness. Except, I’m not exactly lying when I say that. I am actually really busy. But I make myself busier but not doing anything. The feeling of assignments stacking up is overwhelmingly stressful, yet I consider it a talent that I can push off all that stress until the last minute. AND It’s even more impressive when I can completely erase that feeling of stress I had doing all my homework, so I can repeat the process over and over again.

Recently, I read this article that talked about how procrastination is not due to bad time management skills, rather has to do with avoiding unwanted, negative emotions.

Procrastination is delaying a task even though you expect that delay to come at a cost.

The New York Times, 03/13

Before reading this, I had never thought about it this way. Of course homework stirs up negative emotions because it usually requires doing something I’m bad at (because I’m learning it). I find that now more than ever, due to COVID-19, I turn in more assignments late because I don’t have to deal with the face to face embarrassment of not having my assignment done. I see my tasks as negative, dull activities more than ever, now that I have the option to lay in my bed all day, including at school.

The one place I’ve found I can work on my homework without being super distracted is in public places like cafes. Most people feel like everyone is looking at them when in public, and so do I, so I have to look productive and smart. I get motivated off of wanting to look good in public. Once, I worked in a Starbucks for 6 hours straight and finished a month long project in one day. Unfortunately, I don’t have that option right now.

Overall, I don’t feel like I have a solution to my procrastination problem just yet. I think because I’m still getting decent grades, I haven’t had much motivation to put in extra effort. I know that eventually, though, I’ll be able to find a way to beat this unnecessarily stressful habit of mine.