In life, we as humans like to classify things and ideas so that our minds can more easily understand them. We classify humans as either an introvert or an extrovert and sometimes the rare “extroverted” introvert.

Personally, I am truly an introvert and it sucks. I lack things like social skills and empathy/sympathy. I’d rather stay home and never take risks than go outside and have to talk to people I have never met before. My introvertness can be seen very clearly in my body language, my body will tremble if it gets super bad and the right side of my face will twitch when I have to speak in a presentation and will even be the only eye that can spill tears of stress. But the thing is, I haven’t always been this way.

I used to be a huge extrovert when I was younger, talking animatedly to anyone I could find and would always be under the spotlight willingly, but then my parents got a divorce. I saw it coming, I truly did, but it still was a huge blow to my 9 year old brain and I shut down completely like a car without gas. I took it to heart and blamed myself even though now I can say that it truly was not my fault. It’s never the child’s fault. I developed social anxiety and almost fell into the traps of a start of an eating disorder, which could have been detrimental to my growing already underweight and petite body. But I persevered and never let myself fall into these illnesses, though they did try to follow me as I moved on.

When high school rolled around, I realized that I was sick of being an introvert. I decided to break out of my shell and be the person I used to be, under the spotlight with no fear written in my book, and I did! I made new friends I joined clubs and even made applied multiple times to be on boards and ASB and never felt dejected when I didn’t make it on. Forcing myself to be social and friendly helped me out even when it shook me to the core beforehand.

I became happier and grew like a sunflower, always looking towards the sun, and though I had my introvert stem I had extrovert roots.

With quarantine, I expected myself to revert back to the introvert core I have but surprisingly I didn’t (That doesn’t mean I don’t stay at home more than I go out, STAY HOME AND SAVE LIVES!) It gave me the opportunity to become to be closer to my new chosen step family and go on bike rides that would make my legs shake afterwards. I got back in touch with my love for painting and anime. I picked up all the things I had lost with the help of my family, friends, and teachers.

I learned what it means to adapt and overcome with the environment that I am in and the things I have been handed in life. I learned what it means to be happier even as an introvert. I relearned what it feels like to be an extrovert thanks to quarantine.

“And I’m happy to admit now, I’m on my way. It seems I’m not invincible but I’m bored of the pain.”

Always by Rex orange County