I used to be told to cut down what I ate by my family or relatives, now that I am deemed “pretty, tan, skinny etc.” by them, I don’t get bothered anymore. I was (still a little bit am) always conscious about my weight. I didn’t grow into it till a year ago. I didn’t find any ounce of confidence until now.

I realized that I did things for people and not for myself. Why should I eat air to achieve the validation that others would give me. The only thought of approval I would need is my own. Right?

If you said yes, I wish I could tell my little own conscious that. It’s a weird roller coaster when I think about if I think about it. I go back and forth looking at my mirror checking if I look okay, if I would even fit the “okay”. I didn’t like food before (two- three summers ago), I thought it was a source of my problems. Why people always said something about how some of my stomach was sticking out or how I wasn’t skinny enough to be near the definition. I just really cared about those opinions. I feel like everyone feels like this at one point or many times, the insecurities. The monster in the back of your head restricting you of any fun.

After a while, I guess I just became what I imagine myself to be after getting on the right track. I am healthy for sure (mentally and physically), not overweight as my doctor had congratulated me for getting out of the “obese zone” during my last doctor check up. Also why is a person’s weight “unhealthy” as the standard BMI is based off people in the army? I don’t think half of us train or eat like they do.

Everything adds on. Media, friends, everyone and everything that makes you have this pressure. This pressure to not embrace who you are and what you stand for. The influence is unreal. I almost hate it as much as I despise any dish with eggplant in it. I almost wish it wasn’t a thing where girls and boys were picked at to be the perfect standard (and tofu eggplant too).

We should all live, laugh, love and do what’s best for what we think is best. Other than that, people shouldn’t listen to others’ opinions about them. We should all stay happy and somewhat benefit from this isolation we are having with all this time on our hands! Stay safe and healthy! XOXO.