What I thought to be a key to my shackles of school turned out to be the bane of my existence. Like most tragedies, it started so blissful and allowed to me to clear myself of most of my stressors but heaven and hell are two sides of the same coin, meaning I was bound to suffer.
Each day became the same like two mirrors facing each other, there was no difference in each reflection as it ran into the abyss. I have no inspiration or motivation, in fact I still don’t, I would say the only way I mustered the will to write this was to break the pattern and show some variety to myself. Even as I write this, I am faced with a infinitely expanding wall around me, I can’t think and the only desire I have is to lie dormant until this nightmare of a reality is over. I haven’t been keeping track of how long this has taken me but it feels like an eternity, each thought that pops up is “I can’t think”. I am now thinking that school wasn’t a shackle in a prison but a shackle in a haven, protecting me from my own mind by giving me busy work.
A warm afternoon
Was swept by a winter storm
Season of discord
Apathy by Marie Joyce B. Negapatan
Quaranteen 
A few questions. Are you in a home or apt with a backyard or porch that gets sunlight? Here are a few things that are working for other people.
1. Cooking. My son is trying out new stuff all the time. Start small if you don’t know how to cook. Even just a grilled cheese or warm bowl of pasta will help you feel like you accomplished something. Cooking three meals a day fills up time.
2. Gardening. Even just a small garden will help your mood. I love watering my plants and I’ve planted some easy to grow veggies. Heck I planted some old potatoes and garlic and they are growing!
3. Start a small business. Can you make something by hand and sell it? I’ve been buying handmade stuff to support local friends and neighbors.
4. Leave a sidewalk chalk message daily. A poem. A quote. Or post a funny meme or joke on a paper and put it outside where people can see it. Even if only your postal worker is seeing it, it’s making a difference for someone.
5. Check in on friends you are worried about. Just a simple. “How are you doing?” or “Hey just checking on you” can help someone feel that someone cares about them. It makes a difference for me.
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